River of Love
Imagine God's love, mercy, and kindness as a wide, deep river thats runs smooth on the surface but in power and depth, inexorable. Now imagine that this river flows through a city and you are standing by it. Standing nearby is a surly-looking gang member who is looking defiant and angry, but alone. Imagine that you could grab this person and hurl the rebellious and hurting soul into the river. What would happen?
Last Monday the Idaho outreach team went to the Casa de Refugio which is an orphanage of sorts for girls involved in drugs, gangs, prostitution, and other forms of extreme rebellion. Since the home is so small, the team took the girls (ages 9 to 20) to a different orphange that has a gymnasium in order to spend the day with them; eating, playing games, and generally sharing in each other's lives. Again, it was another incredible day to “visit orphans...in their distress” in the name of Jesus. (James 1:27) This was the second time I had been there with an outreach team. Two weeks ago, on the outreach for which I was the leader, we had taken the girls to a church and spent a similar day with them. This time it was Mike Hutchins' turn as the team leader and I was along as an extra driver. Little did we imagine that the imaginary scene above would play itself out before our eyes!
When we arrived at the Casa de Refugio the police were there and people were going in and out of the building, having little discussons on the sidewalk, and seeming to look at this coach bus full of gringos as a minor distraction. We greeted the staff and then they gave the team (split into two smallers groups) a tour through their tiny facility. Shortly thereafter we began to load the girls onto the bus and all the pieces of the scene fell together. One of the girls getting on the bus had just been dropped off by the police. She was wearing baggy, gang clothing and her hair was held back with a wide, black headband. Her tear-stained face had butterfly strips over some fresh wounds. Moments ago she was riding in a police truck and now she was getting on a huge coach bus with dozens of smiling, even cheering Americans. I can only imagine her disorientation! We must have seemed positively insane to her. Her name is Denisse. She is very tough-looking and large for her 15 years. Her arm was held in an affectionate but firm grip by another girl from the orphanage named Lluvia (you-via) who was similar in size. Lluvia's face was amazing as it conveyed excitement, compassion, certainty, and affection all at once.
We spent the day in the gymnasium of the Benito Juarez orphange. It began with a hot lunch (in both senses if you added the whole jalapeños) which was followed by introductions. All the girls introduced themselves with their name, age, and sometimes a short greeting. The team introduced themselves by family followed by the IFM staff. After introductions, the floor was opened up to anyone--from the orphange or the team--to share a testimony. Following that was a time of games and chatting, then a puppet show from the team, then a fun “girl craft.” The day concluded with more games, a prayer time, and singing.
The testimony time was by far the longest part. We heard story after story from the girls of their lostness and their being found in the Savior Jesus Christ. Almost every one of them had arrived looking like Denisse and now they beamed with the joy of the Lord and carried themselves with a palpable sense of a clean conscience. There were girls in all phases of their time at the Refugio. You could imagine them lined up by the amount of time they had been there and that you could see the common expression change from fear and uncertainty to peace, joy and laughter in a continuum down the line. When Lluvia gave her testimony it became clear why she was attached to Denisse, and why she had excitement and loving anticipation on her face. Lluvia's background sounded like it could have been Denisse's! Denisse was paying very close attention. During some of the testimonies she shed more tears.
The common threads running through all the girl's stories were those of being rejected by parents and of rebellion. One girl experienced the ultimate rejection as her father is now in prison for attempting to murder her and her two younger siblings in a drunken rage. Another girl's mother frequently exclaimed to her face that she wished she had followed a friend's advice and aborted her. Some of the girls were neglected. While many of the girls simply abandoned the blessings of their homes and rebelled against their parents, seeking “to do whatever they wanted.” Some of the American team members also shared their stories of rebellion and redemption. It was an incredible time to see our common, lost humanity, and our Beautiful Savior.
During this time many of us were praying silently. I was praying for Denisse especially. Slowly a desire to share a particular gospel message began to grow in me. I prayed about it, not knowing if it was appropriate since I was not there in a leadership role, nor was I a member of the outreach team. But the urge continued to grow, so I presented the idea to the outreach team leaders and was met with enthusiasm. During the testimony time one of the girls, Marisol, from the orphanage stood out as an excellent translator. She was very careful to translate everything the person had said instead of paraphrasing. After four or five more testimonies the outreach team leader called me up and I asked Marisol to help me.
I began by asking a question, “How many of you feel like your being alive was a mistake, or an accident?” Many of the girls raised their hands and smiled. I continued, “I know what it is like to feel like that. You see, my grandfather had an operation to prevent his having any more children. But later, in spite of that operation, my grandparents conceived another child and my father was born. When my mother and father were in their second year of high school, they had an “accident” and I was the result. So you see, I was a double accident!” The girls giggled. Then I changed the subject and asked them to look around the room at all the faces and see that they are all different. I held up my thumb and talked about the unique fingerprint. I asked them to consider the personalities of each one of them and how they are totally unique. Then, with the inspiration of Psalm 139 (read it!) I said, “The reason for our uniqueness is this; God, before the creation of the world, wanted a friend forever who had certain personality qualities, so He created...Marisol.” Marisol blushed, then looked like she might cry for a second, then translated. I looked at the faces of these girls who are all precious in His sight. They were paying attention. Denisse was staring at me; her eyes like saucers. I choked back my own tears.
“Do you understand this?” I asked. “God, the creator of the universe, longed for your friendship...and so He created you! But there is a problem. Our God is a holy God and our sin has separated us from Him. And this is key...don't miss this...it is not that God is angry with us and has pushed us away from Him because of our sin. No! It is we that have turned our backs on Him and have walked away in our rebellion. And I know this because God has said in the book of Romans that while we were still sinners, God demonstrated His love toward us and sent His son Jesus to die for our sins! It is like this...” I asked Marisol to walk away from me slowly, then I walked up behind her and gently put my hand on her shoulder to stop her. “Even while we were doing our own thing, living in open rebellion, God was walking after us and has laid His hand on our shoulders. Today, He is getting your attention. If you will turn around, away from your own way, and put your trust in Him, He will embrace you with His forgiveness and love.” Later, between activities, I noticed the woman who runs the host orphanage talking earnestly and lovingly to Denisse. Several of us noticed it and continued to pray for her.
The next big activity was the making of some large yarn dolls. The girls loved it! It was cool to see even the older girls (young women) taking great care in the project and their delight as the dolls took shape. Denisse was grinning and thoroughly enjoying herself. When she had trouble, one of the women from the team or one of the girls from the orphanage would reach over her shoulders and help her from behind. As I watched the girls down the row of tables, I saw the delight and innocence of a room-full of giggly little girls who looked just like my own two daughters do when they play dress-up or do crafts together.
Please pray for the girls at the Casa de Refugio who don't yet know their Heavenly Father. Please pray for those that know Him to grow and become rooted in His word. Pray for Denisse and that, being unwittingly thrown in, she will be swept away by that River of Love.
--Thaine