Norris Family News

Balancing on the Border

Life seems to always be a balancing act no matter who and where you are. Living here at the House of Cornelius for 1.5 years I have wrestled particularly with how to keep poverty in perspective. It is so gripping and shocking to see how many people live, and heart-wrenching to have a glimpse of the simple needs that they have. I ask myself, what do I do about this? How do I come to terms with it? The letter written by James makes it clear that we are not to say "Go! I wish you well; be warmed and be filled..." to someone without clothes and daily food. Jesus also said the poor would always be with us. Obviously there is a delicate balance here of doing what you can for whatever situation is under your nose and not going crazy trying to solve the problems of the world in one day.

Should I feel guilty about my comfortable daily life and functioning cars? Do I sell everything I have and spread the small sum around the Juarez area? Do we live on rice and beans forever so a few more can eat? I've tried pontificating to the family if we lacked or craved some relative indulgence..."think of our friends and neighbors across the border who live in homes made of scraps and the wind blows dust through the cracks..." but somehow the words ring hollow after a while. Rightly or not, no one seems too excited to eat oatmeal three times a day for the benefit of some nebulous concept Mom is flapping about. It's just hard to reconcile the two worlds. They just don't even overlap.

For  a while I felt guilty. Then I tried being sacrificial and didn't appreciate anyone else who wasn't doing the same. Then I just was hard-hearted for a while because it was too much to sort out. Suddenly, recently, I see a glimmer of perspective. I don't need to feel guilty unless I'm guilty of something! If God gave me something to share, I'd better share it. If my family needs something, that's OK. It isn't shameful that we tend to our daily needs comfortably; it's what we need to wish and hope for everyone, and be a part of that when we are able.

That's part of why I love my new job so much. I can't buy everyone's medicines, and I can't solve all the problems that come up for these dear indigent people that come to the clinic. I can tend to their organ systems and laboratory data and help them access medications through special programs. I can genuinely be concerned for their welfare and make a little dent in their distress. Guilt free, I am able to do this because of my own good health, functioning car, marriage and family, by the grace of God. There is a lot that has to be in place for us to pour out for the sake of others, and I'm thankful for it now, instead of conflicted.

--Erika